Bridal Party Woes
You're engaged and you've got the man of your dreams, but now you need to choose your DREAM TEAM...Your bridal party! This should be an exciting time for you, your closest friends, and family as you choose your crew to stand beside you on one of the most special days of your life, however, I've heard way too many stories of brides losing friends, cutting off family members over bridal party woes.
Just recently, on Real Housewives of Atlanta we see Eva Marcille lose big time when one of her bridesmaids turns completely against her and starts spreading hurtful rumors about her finances, her home, her character. Eva considered this young lady to be a sister and she went for blood. It doesn't seem clear how they got there, but I'm sure next week's episode will clear the air.
I believe that many times brides lose in this category because their expectations do not match their girlfriends. So, what should you expect as a newly chosen bridesmaid or maid of honor?
Maid/Matron of Honor: This is the highest honor of all. Usually brides choose their sister or best friend to be their right hand girl for their wedding day. The maid of honor can expect to plan and financially contribute to the bachelorette party and maybe the bridal shower if the mother of the bride doesn't take care of it. On the day of the wedding you are the bride's dress fixer, bouquet holder, makeup fixer, tissue holder, hold her dress up while she tinkles, and keep a drink in her hand person for the day. The bride really relies on you to make her day as effortless as possible. It's a hard job and sometimes, pricey too, but all worth the smile on your best friend's face at the end of the night when she's swept away by her new hubby. Maid/Matron of honor, please be sure to read the duties listed below for the bridesmaids because these fall on you as well.
Bridesmaids: You are the tribe that the bride has chosen to represent her for the wedding and participate in all the events leading up to the big day. Bridesmaids usually have to purchase a dress, shoes, makeup, hair, and nail services to be camera ready. Also, financial contributions to the bridal shower and bachelorette party are usually expected as well. If you are an out-of-town bridesmaid, keep travel accomodations in mind when deciding to take on this role. The maid/matron of honor will be the lead on these events, but she'll need your input to help plan, set-up, clean-up, and host.
Brides, make sure you are clear about your expectations up front. Tell your bridal party their financial responsibility, travel arrangements (if necessary), and the events that you expect for them to attend. This will keep confusion to a minimum and allow for you to just enjoy your closest friends on some of the most memorable days of your life!
Choose wisely, your friend that just lost her job or just had a new baby may not be able to afford time or money to participate in the bridal party activities, so she may not be your best choice right now. Have that conversation with your girl and be up front about how you want your wedding planning process to be. She may be able to contribute in another way once you all have had that one-on-one.
The plan is to always make planning as seamless as possible. Those months leading up to your big day should be full of joy and fun times. You are about to start a new life with your love and you want your friends and family to surround you with GOOD VIBES ONLY! Get a support system that's rooting for you. Sister, you deserve it!